Motivate Me on Friendships.

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This week on Community Corner I am happy to introduce our newest contributor Shelley. She is a talented author, trainer on mental health and coach at ‘Motivate Me Now’


“Good friends are like stars, you don’t always see them, but you know they are there.”

Friendships are varied and unique to all of us. Think about all the friends you’ve made throughout your lifetime. Our siblings and cousins were our first firm friends, and then we ventured into school life and moulded relationships that helped us survive. College and university friends may be a distant memory, and work colleagues who you thought would stick with you forever have long since drifted away.

I’ve made amazing friends online via Twitter and Facebook who I’ve never met in real life, but I know they would support me should I need it. Then there are the online friendships that have evolved into real life meet ups and firm bonds. The networking groups I attend each month, and the incredibly talented ladies who share their stories with me are as valuable as my closest circle of comrades.

Every single one of these friendships is important to me. Some are nurtured and cherished until they bloom into magical relationships, others are cared for but only fill certain days or situations.

Aristotle placed friendships into three categories:

  • Utility Friends: This category includes school chums, work colleagues, and business associates.

  • Pleasure Friends: The people who share our common interests or hobbies.

  • Good Friends: This group includes the people you respect and appreciate for their values and qualities. These are the friends you call upon to help you in the middle of the night.

Can you identify your cheer leading squad in any of these categories? Most of us will have a band of friendships that cover all three, and it’s vital that you cherish each one for different reasons.

At the time, your school friends are the most important BFFs in the entire universe. NOBODY else in the world understands you when you’re a teenager at high school, and so your friendship circle means everything. It’s where you learn the harshest lessons, but if you do manage to survive, it’s where you evolve into the kind of person (and friend) you want to be in adult life.

Getting through the working day can be tough, but having a comrade in arms to lessen the stress, have a joke with, and perhaps a drink at the end of your shift makes the 9-5 manageable.

I consider the writing community to be the ‘pleasure friends’ in my life as this is where I bond with fellow writers’ over our work in progress and deadlines. It can be hugely beneficial to reach out for help to a virtual community and within minutes receive answers, support, and advice.

Since hitting my forties, I realise that good friends can now be counted on one hand. When we are younger (and this is especially important to the teens of today), the quantity of friendships is far more important than the quality. However, over time we learn the truth and start to weed out the emotional vampires and the negative nellies until we’re left with our true and honest supporters.

Can you name your good friends? Why not drop them a text, send a message, or call them to let them know you’re thinking about them.

I want to celebrate my friendships this month by meeting up with old and new acquaintances, remembering the friends I’ve lost, and being grateful for the lessons I’ve learned from every relationship I’ve had.

To read more from Shelly please visit her website and Facebook group for more blogs and motivational supports.




Jessica Dark